Monday, March 21, 2016

Splinter in my soul

It sucks a little to have to get up at 6.30 when the kids aren't home. But when it's time for the internship it is. I have to think that I'm getting paid to go there, even if it's not a lot of money it's still money.

I suspect that K have been whispering in the kids ears again because an upset Leo called yesterday and wanted to stay for a few more day. I told him like it is, that he can't. I think that it's something that I and K should of have talked about because I know that he knows that Leo called me. Then he should have told Leo that it is something for me and K to discuss.

I would love it if me and K could communicate so good that the kids could be there every other week, but like it is now it's not gonna happen. How are we gonna talk about school trips, visits to the dentist and everything else when he doesn't call me and doesn't answer when I call? You just can't. And that is why I in court asked about help when we had the custody battle. And we still haven't gone on any meetings to learn how to communicate, three years later. That alone shows why every other week doesn't work when there is zero communication. I expect K to call me and talk, but no. As I said, zero communication. I honestly don't know what to do. I want to listen to what the kids want, but in this situation it doesn't work. But still, they are so big now that they should have some say in everything. This situation is not funny.

I was a bit upset after that call and it didn't get any better when Maja texted me about the same thing. She, who just recently started going to her dad on every other weekend texted and wanted to stay longer, and are using the same phrases as K does. No, then I think someone has been whispering in her ear. And that made me even more upset. So I texted J and asked him to come over, it was a few hours left before he would come and I didn't want to be alone. He answered that he would come over right away, and he did.

He is a big support in all of this. He listens, comes with advise and supports me. Lets me curl up in his arms and cover me in kisses and hugs me. What else could I ask for? I´m so lucky for having him.

I'm gonna wake him up at 8 am but before that I have stuff to do. I need to get ready and put on my make up, and call about my pipes in the bathroom. There is a leakage just under the roof. I don't think that they have tightend the pipes hard enough when they put them in. If I'm lucky I have time to do stuff around the apartment before it's time to leave. I need to think of something to eat so I can just take the bus to the grocery store when I'm done for the day at my internship. I was gonna go to the pharmacy as well when I'm there, I need to get more of my sleeping pills. I took the last ones last night when we went to bed.

At the internship

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